Formulating an Obituary: With Sample Texts and Quotes

When it comes to a gesture of remembrance for the deceased, an obituary is a beautiful way to bid a respectful farewell to the person who has passed away. Typically, obituaries are written and published by companies, employees, or colleagues, but of course, close relatives or family members can also write such a farewell.

On this page, we would like to explain exactly what an obituary is, where it can be published, and how it is generally structured.

What is an Obituary?

The death of a loved one is a profound loss for friends and family, often turning life upside down. To make the mourning a bit more bearable and to cope with the loss, it can help to remember the deceased fondly.

For this type of mourning, churches offer memorial services dedicated to remembering the deceased. Another common method to honor the dead is through an obituary. This involves a few personalized lines that are often published in the local newspaper following a memorial service.

An obituary can be written and published by anyone who knew the deceased during their lifetime. This includes coworkers, club mates, friends, and of course, family members (mother, father, sister, brother, etc.).

What is the Difference Between an Obituary and a Necrology?

A necrology is a more detailed obituary that includes the deceased's life story. While an obituary is brief and features the name, dates, and a short dedication about the deceased's contributions or significance, a necrology is much more comprehensive, detailing all stages of the deceased’s life and often accompanied by a eulogy.

Who Should Write the Obituary?

An obituary can be written by anyone who feels connected to the deceased and/or their family. This can include colleagues or a boss who wants to acknowledge their professional achievements, or clubmates who wish to remember an engaged and collegial member positively.

How to Write an Obituary?

There are no strict rules or templates for structuring or writing an obituary. However, an obituary mainly serves one purpose: to look back on the life of the deceased.

The obituary can reflect on various phases (personal, professional), good and challenging times such as battling a severe illness, and more. Personal and professional accomplishments, as well as anecdotes, should also be included.

It's important to remember: an obituary should always be written with positive language, as it serves to help the bereaved remember the deceased in the best possible light.

The Structure of an Obituary

As briefly mentioned before, there are no set rules for structuring an obituary. However, there are some basic points you should consider, especially since it will be published in print media like newspapers. In most cases, newspapers will even provide guidelines for the structure.

Generally, an obituary should always include the following details:

• Name of the deceased
• Life dates of the deceased
• Text (Introduction, Main Body, Conclusion)
• Expression of condolences
• Name(s) of the author(s)

Short Obituary

A short obituary typically consists of an introduction, a main body, and a conclusion. This format is often used in private settings.

Introduction

The introduction addresses the death of the deceased and the relationship between the author and the deceased.

Example:

We are deeply saddened, and I cannot deny my grief due to the passing of my best friend, XY. With this obituary, I want to honor his memory and pay my respects.

Main Body

The main body reflects on the deceased and offers deserved appreciation. This section can include special moments, achievements, behaviors, or deeds. It is a chance to highlight the positive attributes and character of the loved one.

Example:

We were not just colleagues but also friends. If I were to describe his lively nature in a few words, “helpful,” “considerate,” “reliable,” and “loving” are exactly the words that defined him in his life.

I vividly remember the following situation, ...

Conclusion

The conclusion looks towards the future, reflecting on how life will continue without the deceased. The choice of words here is important, as the death is a significant loss. Nonetheless, it is crucial to convey that life goes on and that people will cherish the memory of their loved one.

Example:

My friend XY always wished for everyone to continue living and enjoying life. As he used to say, “Life can be so beautiful; we just have to make the best of it.” Of course, we will all miss him dearly, but let us look ahead and keep XY in our fondest memories. Because memories are all we have left today.

Long Obituary

In fact, the structure of a long obituary is not significantly different from that of a short obituary. The difference lies in the length of the text, which is longer in a long obituary. Typically, entire pages of newspapers are reserved for such obituaries.

Because this type of obituary is more expensive, it is generally reserved for public figures.

Suitable Quotes for the Eulogy 

We have gathered some beautiful and elegant quotes for your inspiration:

• Death is like a candle that goes out when the day breaks.

• Death is not the end, not a fleeting moment. Death is just the turning point, the beginning of eternity.

• Memory is a window through which we can see you whenever we want.

• Death rearranges the world. Apparently, nothing has changed, and yet everything is different. 

• Lord, bless what I have done. Protect what I loved. Complete what I wanted. And make up for what I missed.

Who Can Write an Obituary?

You can and are allowed to write an obituary for anyone you feel the need to. For a colleague, a neighbor, the lady from whom you've been buying bread for 20 years, or a former teacher. Keep in mind: Bereaved family members appreciate obituary lines as they offer comfort and provide a sense of not being alone.

Obituary for Family Members

When writing an obituary for a family member, you should include important life milestones and aim to be as personal as possible. Share a personal anecdote that connected you both or a phrase that describes their character. Other mourners, who may not have known the deceased as well, will be able to feel a bit closer to them through your words.

Obituary for Friends

An obituary for a friend should also include a personal touch. A shared anecdote or something that bonded you would be suitable here as well. Always address the family in your words and express your condolences in the obituary for a friend.

Obituary for Club Members

An obituary for a club member should be formal. In addition to the essential information like name and life dates, you should especially honor their contributions and achievements within the club. Mention how long and in which positions the deceased was active in the club.

When is the Obituary Published?

The obituary should never be published at the same time as the death notice by the family and relatives. Ideally, the obituary appears a few days after the official death notice or after the funeral of the deceased. 

Where is the Obituary Published?

Obituaries are most commonly published in print media, such as local newspapers. Nowadays, however, there is also the option to publish obituaries on memorial websites, which are accessible online. This service is already offered by many funeral homes and can be utilized there. 

The Costs of Publishing an Obituary

The costs of publishing an obituary in a newspaper are quite similar to those for a funeral notice. Just like a funeral notice, the obituary is always published in the same section of the newspaper. 

The price depends on how much space (text) is used and how the obituary is designed. Generally speaking, the larger the newspaper's circulation, the higher the cost of publishing the obituary. For a local newspaper, costs can be up to several hundred euros. For a national newspaper, the costs can quickly reach thousands.

Conclusion

Writing an obituary can be very comforting for family members, friends, and acquaintances. It is a dignified way to honor the deceased and keep their memory alive in a positive way. 

Though an obituary cannot take away the grief, it is a meaningful opportunity to pay final respects to the loved one. It does not matter whether the writer is a friend, colleague, or a direct family member.