Expressing Condolences: Examples and Tips

When writing a condolence message, it means you have unfortunately lost a friend, relative, colleague, or family member. Writing a sympathy card is a very personal act, meant to offer condolences, comfort, and hope to the bereaved.

We would like to explain below the purpose of writing a condolence message and what kind of words you might choose for it. 

What is a Condolence Message?

A condolence message, often conveyed through a sympathy card, is a form of expressing sympathy typically sent to the immediate family of the deceased. Such a card holds significant meaning for both the writer and the recipient. It provides a way to express your condolences to the bereaved, helping them through this difficult and emotional time. The aim of the condolence message is to signal to the grieving person: 'You are not alone; we are here for you.' This small but meaningful gesture can offer a sense of comfort and security. Sympathy cards generally include comforting words which may consist of religious condolences, poems, and/or personal words. The choice is entirely yours.

As you can see, a sympathy card serves as a first step in expressing condolences, demonstrating your sympathy to the family of the deceased. 

Writing a Condolence Message: Essential Tips

Most people faced with the task of writing a condolence message struggle with the question of how to convey their sympathy effectively.

A sympathy card is a deeply personal gesture meant to express condolences, empathy, and hope. Therefore, it should never be composed of overused clichés or phrases.

A condolence message is most personal when handwritten. Please avoid using Whatsapp or email. Additionally, the message should be as personal as possible for the bereaved. They should not feel like you wrote the condolence message out of obligation. Take the time you need to find the right words and write them down thoughtfully. In such a situation, finding the right expressions can be challenging. It's crucial to convey that the deceased was important to you. You can refer to numerous sample formulations that we provide below.

Text Templates for Offering Condolences

The text for offering condolences should always be personal and individual. However, because it is incredibly difficult to express in words what you feel as a bereaved person, we would like to provide some examples to support you.

5 Examples of Short Condolences

If you want to keep it brief, the following sentences are appropriate:

You are not alone in this difficult time

I share your profound grief

With deep sorrow, I extend my condolences and sympathy

My deepest condolences to you

We are here for you in these tough hours

5 Examples of Christian Condolences

If the deceased or the bereaved are religious and you feel that a Christian-inspired condolence would be particularly comforting, we have a few suggestions:

“The death of a loved one is the return of a precious thing, which God had only lent us.”

“Lord, into your hands we place the beginning and the end, everything is in your care” - Eduard Mörike

“My soul finds rest in God alone” - Psalm 62:2

“Place everything quietly in God's hands: happiness, pain, the beginning, the end.”

“God gave us you as a great, rich blessing - now we quietly return you into His hand.”

5 Examples of Modern Condolences

If the deceased was very open-minded or younger, a more modern condolence may be appropriate. Here are some inspirations:

“When you are comforted, you will be happy that you knew me” - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“Dying is not an eternal separation - there is a reunion on a brighter day” - Michael Faulhaber

“The bonds of love are not severed by death” - Thomas Mann

“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards” - Søren Kierkegaard

“How beautiful must heaven be, if it looks so beautiful from the outside” - Astrid Lindgren

When Should You Write a Condolence Message?

The timing for writing a condolence card always depends on when you learn about the death of the deceased. Close family and friends usually find out on the same day, while friends, colleagues, or neighbors might hear about it a few days later. As a general rule, you should write a condolence message as soon as you are informed about the death. It is also possible to give the condolence message to the bereaved on the day of the funeral. However, this timing is not quite ideal because the bereaved person will be emotionally and mentally occupied with other matters. Nonetheless, there is nothing wrong with it. You might have found out about the death of the deceased at a much later time.

Who Should You Write a Condolence Message To?

You can send a condolence card to anyone who feels affected by the death and mourning. This doesn't always have to be close relatives; it can also include friends, colleagues, or neighbors. In practice, however, condolence cards or letters are usually sent directly to a close family member, such as the wife/husband, the mother/father, or the children. So, it’s best to address your words in the condolence card to the person who was closest to the deceased at the time of their passing.

Condolence Message for the Family

Typically, you share your life, your joys, and your sorrows with your family. A condolence message should be as personal and intimate as possible. A personal visit and conversation are highly recommended in these cases.

If this isn't possible, avoid using clichéd expressions or quotes. Instead, write genuinely about how you feel and what moves you. Besides a condolence card, it’s crucial to write a personal letter that shows your family how close you are to them, especially in such a situation.

Condolence Message for Neighbors

We all have different relationships with our neighbors. Even if it's just exchanging greetings and small talk, you should always offer condolences when there's a death within your neighbor's circle. Do this personally, if possible, rather than in writing. You might want to bring a bouquet of flowers or a small gift when you visit. Such small gestures can provide significant comfort and mean more than you might realize.

Condolence Message for a Friend

For many of us, friends are like family or sometimes even closer. Your condolence message for a friend should therefore be as personal and heartfelt as possible.

Avoid hiding behind clichés and be yourself. What your friends genuinely need in such moments is you, just as you are. Write a personal letter here as well, affirming that you'll always be there for them as a friend.

Condolence Message for Business Partners or Colleagues

Business-related condolences can be sent either collectively, from the entire team, or personally by you. Remember that you spend a significant portion of your life with your colleagues. In your condolence message, acknowledge the shared moments, the good and trustworthy collaboration, and the team spirit. Address the letter not just to the colleague but also to their family members.

If you had a particularly close relationship with the deceased, it would be appropriate to write a personal message independently from your other colleagues.

Choosing the Condolence Card

Before you write a condolence card, you may wonder what to consider when selecting the sympathy and condolence card. Rest assured, there is little you can do wrong. However, there are a few essential criteria you should keep in mind. 

Crafting Professional Condolence Messages

The Motif

The motif on the sympathy card should never be too cheesy. However, this is rarely an issue. Often, the motifs on condolence cards are quite similar, with few to no differences. Nevertheless, it's important to choose an appropriate motif for the sympathy card. 

The Envelope

When purchasing a sympathy card, it should always come with a matching envelope. The condolence letter is typically sent to the recipient or their family members. Therefore, ensure that you do not place the sympathy card in a regular envelope. The envelope accompanying the condolence card is made of high-quality paper and should be used. 

The Price

The price of a sympathy card should be a secondary consideration. Nowadays, there are many sympathy cards available at most stores. Focus on ensuring that the paper used for the condolence letter is of high quality. After all, you want to express your respect to the deceased. 

Conclusion

A Very Personal Gesture

The loss of a loved one is painful, and even if you are not directly affected, it can be challenging to find the right words for a sympathy card. Try to empathize with the grieving family. This will make it easier to write the sympathy card. 

And always remember when writing a sympathy card: a condolence letter should never include clichés or empty phrases. It is a very personal message through which you wish to express your condolences to the grieving family.