Writing a Sympathy Card: Ideas and Phrases

If you have lost someone important - whether it be a family member, a friend, relative, or colleague - you might want to offer comfort and hope to the bereaved with a sympathy card. But what do you write in a sympathy card? 

We would like to offer you some inspiration for writing a sympathy card. Whether short or long, you should find appropriate and dignified words when writing a sympathy card.

What is a sympathy card?

Sympathy cards are primarily intended to express condolences to the relatives and bereaved. Even if the deceased was a coworker or a casual acquaintance, a sympathy card provides an opportunity to convey your own sorrow to the loved ones.

These sympathy cards are a form of condolence letter. They are sent directly to the deceased's family. This gesture holds significant meaning for both the sender and the recipient of the card. 

Sympathy cards offer a way to show the bereaved that they are not alone in their grief. This kind of external support and comfort can greatly assist those who are mourning, making the process of coping with their loss just a bit easier. 

The content of sympathy cards can include poems, personal messages, or religious condolences. Such cards are often referred to as condolence cards in this context.

Sympathy Cards: When Should You Write One?

The timing of when to write sympathy cards depends on how well you knew the deceased. You can only write a sympathy card once you've learned about the person's passing. Immediate family members and close relatives usually find out on the same day, whereas colleagues or distant acquaintances might hear the news a few days later.

The appropriate moment to write a sympathy card is as soon as you are informed about the death. You can also hand over the sympathy card on the day of the funeral, although this might not be the best time. Therefore, sending it by mail is always recommended.

Who Can You Write Sympathy Cards To?

Sympathy cards can be written to anyone who feels directly or indirectly affected by the death or grief. This includes relatives, friends, colleagues, or even neighbors.

Typically, sympathy cards are written and sent to just one person – the one who was closest to the deceased. This could be the spouse, mother, father, or children.

How to Choose the Right Sympathy Card

There is a wide selection of sympathy cards available with various inscriptions, sayings, and designs. You might be wondering what to look for when choosing the right sympathy card. Therefore, we would like to provide you with a few criteria to help you select an appropriate condolence card.

These selection criteria include:

• the price
• the design
• the envelope

Sympathy cards come in different price ranges, but this should be a secondary consideration. The main purpose of a sympathy card is to express your condolences and sympathy. This is best achieved with a thoughtful condolence card.

The designs of sympathy cards are often quite similar, so you generally can't go wrong with any selection. However, even slight differences can matter, so it’s advisable to pay attention to details and choose a card that best represents the deceased.

Besides the criteria mentioned above, the envelope is an essential part of a sympathy card. Remember, the first thing the family will see is the envelope.

Make sure that the chosen condolence card comes with a suitable and high-quality envelope. Typically, you can purchase sympathy cards that include a matching envelope. You'll notice that these envelopes are made of high-quality paper and are much thicker than standard envelopes.

Appropriate Phrases for a Sympathy Card

This structure for sympathy cards is a guideline you can follow, but of course, you are free to write your condolence message in any form that feels right to you. 

Salutation: ‍
Dear ….. (First Name, Relative, Family)‍

Introduction: ‍
I have just now learned of your loss. I am deeply shocked and saddened.‍

Expression of Sympathy: ‍
My thoughts are with you and your family. These words cannot take away your pain, but know that you are not alone in your grief. ‍

Personal Connection: ‍
Always believing in the good in people, always helpful and dedicated to making a difference - that was ….., whom we will now miss deeply and whose good deeds we will fondly remember. ‍

Offering Support‍:
If there are days when you need support or simply want to talk, please do not hesitate to reach out to me.‍

Closing Words‍:
We wish you much strength in this difficult time and send our sincerest best wishes.‍

Should You Include Money in a Sympathy Card?

Do money and sympathy cards go together? Yes and no! However, you are probably aware that a funeral with ceremonies can quickly cost several thousand euros. In some regions of Germany, it is therefore common practice to include money in a sympathy card.

For many, it may feel unusual or give them an uneasy feeling, as they do not want the money to cause misunderstandings. To avoid this, you can mention it in the sympathy card. For instance, you could write “money for the grave planting” or something similar.

Signing a Sympathy Card

Sympathy cards often already have a beautiful design and a fitting message. However, you might also want to add a few personal words to convey your sincere gesture within the card. Of course, this includes your signature as well.

Please avoid common phrases like “Best regards” or “Kind regards” in a sympathy card. These are somewhat inappropriate in this context. It’s better to use something heartfelt such as “We are holding you close,” “Our thoughts are with you,” “With heartfelt sympathy,” or something similar.

Sending sympathy cards should also always be done the traditional way, via postal mail. Even though the digital age has made sending messages via email, WhatsApp, or fax quicker and easier, mailing it is still the more appropriate way to send a sympathy card. This way, the grieving family can also receive your handwritten message.

Conclusion

Sympathy cards offer you the best way to express your personal sympathy and condolences to affected family members and loved ones. When writing a sympathy card, try to use personal words and avoid clichés and stock phrases.

A sympathy card is something very personal. For this reason, the card should be handwritten and sent by mail as soon as you are informed of the deceased's passing.